Momorphosis

Be Happy; Be Yourself

Cheryl Young — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:52:02 +0000

Last week I encouraged you to reconnect with yourself and your inner source of creativity by living life through the eyes of a child. I asked you to identify times when you allowed yourself to be creative and playful. How are you doing in this process? Has your ability to re-energize your life improved a bit? Have you felt a sense of childlike wonder returning to you? I hope so.

This week, I want to invite you to once again to reach inside yourself and reconnect with who you are. Here are some ways to view the world through the eyes of a child this week:

Don’t worry; be Happy - after all playtime is forever. Remember nobody ever left this earth saying I should have spent more time at the office - and if they did, they were smart enough to keep it to themselves.
One genuine smile from a child is worth a thousand bucks in therapy sessions.
Girls just wanna have fun and boys just wanna be themselves and sometimes it’s just the opposite. Let kids be kids and allow them to discover their own world - the one they live in - the one that is called childhood.

As we grow up and gain responsibility it is sometimes challenging to allow room to be ourselves. We can get caught up in daily worries and comparing ourselves to others instead of truly living our lives.

I challenge you this week to keep a journal of what you truly want to be doing and see how it matches up with what you are doing and how you are being in the world. For anyone who is willing, I would love for you to share your experiences in our Motherhood Message Board.

Until Next Week..
Cheryl

Flexibility Creates Balance

Cheryl Young — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:51:22 +0000

This month we’ve been talking about bringing renewed energy to your life by spending time viewing life through the eyes of a child. I’ve invited you to reconnect with your creativity and with your own personal happiness. This week, I want to talk with you about the value of flexibility. Here are some ways to view the world through the eyes of a child this week:

If you don’t like it the way it is, don’t worry - my attention will shift in 5 minutes - life is so full of things to do and experience; if you don’t like one thing, go try another. Sometimes we make mistakes in choosing jobs or paint colors or clothing or social activities - don’t suffer because you were told to when you were a child - you are in control. It’s okay to change your mind or admit you made a mistake and move on. In the game of life, misery is optional and flexibility creates room for balance.
Adults are just weird big kids. Hey, we like to play too!
Sometimes as we grow hardened by life experiences we lose touch with our own sense of wonder and amazement. We can sometimes get caught up in the daily routine of working to pay the bills and support our families and forget there is more to life than “work”. We can forget that we do have control over how we react to things that happen and most importantly, that we can change direction if we find ourselves on the wrong path. Just slip a child’s hand into mine or put a toddler or baby in my arms and all the troubles of the day and the world slip away. Funny that sometimes, the most serious of adults lose their outer shell of “perfectness” and become truly “PERFECT” in the presence of a child.

This week, I encourage you to embrace flexibility when it comes to the needs of you and your children. Look for ways to add flexibility into your life and see what happens.

Until Next Week…
Cheryl

Look At The World With A New Set Of Eyes

Cheryl Young — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:50:46 +0000

It’s been an interesting month! We’ve been talking about bringing renewed energy to our lives by viewing life through the eyes of a child. I’ve encouraged you to take better care of yourself by reconnecting with yourself, your creativity and your flexibility. As we close this month, I want to remind you that you are ultimately in control of your life and your power is in how you react to what is happening around you. Here are some ways to view the world through the eyes of a child this week:

Eat, Sleep, Poop - Life ain’t too bad. If the core needs of everyday survival are met, the rest is a walk in the park.
Milk is good but Chocolate Milk really rocks my world. Amazing how just a small shift can change your outlook on life.

What does all this mean exactly?

Life is a wondrous, colorful place to live and experience. We have all the colors of the crayon box to play with. Enjoy it; watch little kids faces and learn the wisdom of the ages of love, unconditional love, enthusiasm, lack of fear, wonder and amazement at simple things - butterflies, smelling the roses, picking tomatoes in the garden, chocolate milk, etc.

Try something new today - look at life through the eyes of a child. Look around you for just a moment as if you have never seen the world before. You may just find that by enjoying the everyday miracles of life unfolding one at a time, you begin to experience the world as a wondrous place and a really huge playground.

In closing this month, I’d like to share with you the words of Heraclitus, “Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play.” I hope that after moving through our discussion this month you are able to more readily celebrate yourself as a Woman and a Mother. My wish for you is a lifetime of self-care that truly allows you to enjoy your family.

Until Next Month…
Cheryl

Your Child, You And Daycare (Part 1)

Cheryl Young — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:50:07 +0000

Consider this month time to take care of you and your child in the daycare setting. Whether you have someone taking care of your child at home or in a traditional daycare setting there are many issues that require a parent’s attention. Being your child’s advocate is imperative to their health and yours. Knowing that your child is in good hands while you are at work allows you to focus on what you are doing so that you can enjoy quality time with your child at the end of each day. Who will watch the kids is one of the most important and stressful conversations working parents have. If you are like me; while a career is important and also necessary for some lifestyle choices, the dilemma of working mom versus stay at home mom is always under the surface. After all, nobody can take care of my child the way that I would. That concept has some pluses and some minuses that we will discover together over the next few weeks.

In general, when choosing a child care provider you want to make sure to focus on the following:

Experience, references, behavior, licensing, quality of service of the provider.
Accessibility to your child while in the provider’s care – is there a webcam, are you allowed to check on your child during the day?
Number of children per provider if more than one child is involved.
Cleanliness of the daycare space.
How your child responds to the provider.
How the provider responds to any special needs.
YOUR PERSONAL INSTINCT ABOUT THE PROVIDER.

Remember taking care of the well being of your child will make your life that much more enjoyable.

Until Next Week…
Cheryl

Your Child, You and Daycare (Part Two)

Cheryl Young — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:49:28 +0000

I would like to introduce you to the word “Empowerment” when thinking about and dealing with daycare. This means speaking up for yourself and being an advocate for your child. Depending on your child’s age, they may or may not be able to communicate fully about what is happening during the day. When leaving your child in the care of others, you need to be involved and engaged in your child’s experience. You need to know what is happening when you are not there. It is one thing to be given a list of rules and guidelines that the daycare follows – it is altogether another thing to see what the daycare actually practices. So, how do you do this?

Check the webcam every once in a while at different times during the day and the week. If necessary, make surprise visits. Ask questions about what you see.
Speak with the staff about your child and how they feel about his or her development. Get feedback from more than one staff member if possible.
Speak with other parents about their experience. Seek guidance from peer parents and from parents of older children and find a balance between the two.
If you see something that concerns you with the daycare, be sure to speak up and let them know your concerns. If you find your concerns are not being addressed properly, then speak up again.
The goal is to form a partnership to ensure the safety and well being of your child.

Remember taking care of the well being of your child will make your life that much more enjoyable.

Until Next Week…
Cheryl

Your Child, You and Daycare (Part Three)

Cheryl Young — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:48:50 +0000

What happens when your child with allergies enters daycare? How do you ensure the safety and wellbeing of your child? How do you ensure that your child is not isolated from the rest of the group? How do you ensure that your child is included in the activities of the group? Speaking from personal experience this is where you must be an advocate for your child. This is where you need to be empowered to speak up and ask questions. This is where you test what the daycare policies are versus the practices they follow. This is where you test the integrity of the daycare.

Our child was “graduated” to a new room at daycare this year and for months we have been receiving daily notes that he has eaten everything we provided for lunch. My husband and I have been curious as he does not eat that amount of food at home. We began to ask a lot of questions and received interesting answers which has led to us checking the daycare’s practices against their policies. Some of what we learned is helping us to educate the daycare as well as let them know what kind of behavior is acceptable and what is not.

For one thing, our child was actually throwing up his lunch every day and nobody told us – they thought this was “normal”. This usually calm parent started to be more vigilant at checking everything around the daycare. Something you need to know is that my son has asthma and a reflux reaction to food is sometimes triggered by asthma and vice versa. This is where the empowerment and advocacy campaign begins.

Remember taking care of the well being of your child will make your life that much more enjoyable.

Until Next Week…
Cheryl

Your Child, You and Daycare (Part Four)

Cheryl Young — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:48:17 +0000

Last week, we began the discussion of the empowerment and advocacy campaign. My son has asthma and many food allergies. The allergies are can be mild to severe according to our doctor – thankfully we have so far only experienced mild reactions, although even those are sometimes frightening. Having said that, our daycare was fully informed in writing and in person and we were told they had lots of experience in this area.

We provide all of our son’s meals and snacks including special treats for parties and celebrations. I always try to have my son’s food look similar to what is being served to other children and I always ensure it tastes good. For the most part at home we eat what our child eats to ensure he feels included in our meals and provide a safe environment.

While checking on our son’s snacks I noticed they were stored in the same container with food to which he is allergic. I questioned the staff and met with management to explain they had lost my trust and they needed to partner with us to regain that trust. What does that mean exactly?

Every day I meet with them to discuss what works and what does not work in regards to their care of my child and how they implement those corrections. I follow up with the staff to get their feedback. This where you can see if the policies match the practices.

Remember taking care of the well being of your child will make your life that much more enjoyable.

Until Next Week…
Cheryl

Your Child, You and Daycare (Part Five)

Cheryl Young — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:47:41 +0000

Have you noticed a theme this month? In three words – Empowerment, Advocacy and Communication.

These concepts will not only help you with your child’s daycare but with your whole life as well. You need to be and feel empowered to take care of yourself and your family. You need to be the advocate for yourself and your family – especially those that cannot speak up for themselves. You need to communicate fully and completely about whatever needs attention. There is a very important factor here and that is YOU. You need to be fully engaged in your life and that of your family. This does not mean you need to be a stay at home parent. It simply means you need to be involved in your child’s life. In order to do this you must ask questions and pay attention to your child’s behavior. If he or she is afraid to go to school, you want to ask questions. If he or she is acting out, you want to ask questions. This will let your child know you care and let the daycare providers know you care.

The bottom line on daycare and your child is to not be afraid to communicate and if necessary change your daycare providers. All parties involved – You, Your Child and the Daycare need to be comfortable with the partnership.

Remember taking care of the well being of your child will make your life that much more enjoyable.

Until Next Month…
Cheryl

The Truth About Quality Time

Cheryl Young — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:47:03 +0000

I have been thinking a lot lately about how needy my two year old has become lately and the impact on my thoughts about being a working mom. This month I want to discuss the number one stress creator for working Moms. The dreaded end of Maternity Leave and the return to the Corporate office. No matter if you had the corner office or the corner cubicle. Returning to the working world outside of your home is a major source of stress. From separation anxiety to what to pack for lunch, our thoughts and emotions run wild as we attempt to bring some normal routine back into our lives. This month, I’m going to invite you to bring peace of mind to yourself and notice your stress saboteurs as you ease yourself back into the working world.

The Truth about Quality Time

One of the biggest fears we can have as we re-enter the workforce is that we are losing valuable quality time with our children. We think if we are not with them full time that they will not learn well or develop into healthy adults. We also want o make that personal connection with our children so they know who we are. The truth is that you have built a strong bond with your child from the moment they were born or brought into your arms. Studies have shown that working parents average only ½ hour less quality time per day with their children than stay at home parents. Why is that – because even stay at home parents have chores and jobs to do during the day and baby is left to play with his/her toys while Mommy does the laundry or the dishes. So, give yourself a break and spend some time playing with your child when you come home from work and then remember to spend some quality time with yourself as well.

This week, I encourage you to make some quality time for your child and yourself at the end of each day. You will thank yourself for it later.

Until Next Week…

Cheryl

Accept Support Where It Shows Up

Cheryl Young — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:46:26 +0000

Last week I encouraged you to build some quality time into your day. Have you found some special time to be with your child? Are you seeing some of the stress disappear? I hope so.

This week, I want to invite you to accept support where it shows up. What exactly do I mean by this? Take a look around your world and see where you could have someone else do something while you play with your child. These things might be ordinary tasks like cleaning and dusting or making dinner or shopping for groceries. See where in your life you might be less stressed if that job was done for you. It is relatively inexpensive to use a cleaning service or trade off with your spouse or another family member. Maybe one night per week you order dinner from a restaurant so you can be at home but not have to cook. There are also many convenience foods these days that are healthy and only take minutes to prepare. Many stores now offer online shopping and free delivery to your door after you come home from work.

The world is full of modern conveniences as well as people who will volunteer to baby-sit and do other errands. Why not take them up on it if it frees up some of your time to do something that will alleviate some of your stress.

I challenge you this week to identify jobs around the house and other areas of your life that you can delegate to other people. For anyone who is willing, I would love for you to share your experiences in our Motherhood Message Board.

Until Next Week..
Cheryl