The Executive Mom

This is one of my more serious articles. The title alone can be attention grabbing. I would like you to notice your thoughts when you first saw the title. Do you think this subject is appropriate for you and your child? How do you feel about just reading the words? For those of you who have been following my articles over the last few months, you will note that I have written a series about who judges your child’s development. One could say this article is a continuation of that series.

It has been an interesting few months in our household as several professionals have noted that our son is either absolutely brilliant or needs some help to be brilliant. We started to do lots of research into early intervention programs to help jump start our son’s development. It seems in some skills he is well above his age and in others he is pacing younger than his age. While we assumed he is just developing at his own pace, we took the feedback from professionals we trust, seriously.

We called the local early intervention program (EIP) and had them evaluate him in our home. They determined that while there were a lot of strengths, he could benefit from speech and developmental therapy. We did not know that speech therapy deals with much more than just how a child speaks. It also deals with cognitive skills of understanding language and how to use language. The goal for our son is to be able to have an interactive and spontaneous conversation. Developmental therapy is used to help children focus so they can hone the skill of joint attention which includes playing with something while being aware of another simultaneous activity that is happening. These therapy sessions for young children look more like play sessions than anything else. Our son was literally having a tug of war with the speech therapist as she offered him a new toy to play with as long as he said “I want the (fill in the blank)” or “my turn”. The developmental therapist gave him a 12 piece shape sorter. After observing our son, the developmental therapist commented that he was doing activities that many older children could not.

We were told that when young children exhibit skills that are usually found in much older children that they could possibly be somewhere on the Autism spectrum. While this was not something we wanted to hear, we reached out for help and a therapist performed what is known as an Autism Indicator Test. The test took 20 minutes and we were amazed at some of the activities that our son performed. The therapist admittedly graded him harshly and he still passed. While not able to give a diagnosis, the therapist indicated that she would be surprised if he ever received a diagnosis as he exhibited many traits that are found to be lacking in children with Autism. We are continuing the therapy and relaxing about the outcomes. The added attention can only help our son and why not receive the help if it is available?

Several questions remain loudly present in our minds:
1) What is truly in a label? Why are we so against the possibility of labeling our children’s development? There is no right or wrong answer here.
2) What would have happened in the world had Galilleo, DaVinci or Einstein been labeled as Autistic because they were gifted far beyond their years?
3) Does early intervention really help to keep children in the mainstream school system?
4) Where can I get support?

In the three months that we have been paying more attention to our son’s development, he has shown great progress – actually he is a very different child today than he was back then. Do I credit the therapy or his new daycare or more vigilant parenting? I credit all of these things together as making the difference. Had he taken the Autism Indicator Test three months ago I do believe our son would have failed. When I asked his daycare director what she and her staff did in order to have such dramatically different results than other centers, she said we simply hug the children and we love the children. While there is a bit more than just that, love is a very powerful force in the development of children. It helps them with so many issues such as self esteem, intimacy, sharing, as well as many others.

My suggestion to you this month is to find your inner strength and if your child’s development is in question, seek out the help of experts. Contact your local early intervention program, contact your child’s school or daycare provider. Contact parents of the children in your child’s class. Ask lots of questions and be prepared to do the same for them.

Until next week.
Cheryl

I had worked a very long day and there I was at midnight, just before the latest holiday, wondering how I was going to include my son in our food traditions. My husband found me sitting at the kitchen table rummaging through every cookbook we owned. He understood what I was trying to accomplish, yet felt compelled to have me get some rest. This Executive Mom was not to be interrupted as I searched for something my son could eat.

As you know, every holiday has at least one special food associated with it’s celebration. What makes our situation unique in our family is that our son is highly allergic to many foods including wheat, milk and eggs. Think about any celebration you have attended and you will start to see that almost all of the foods served contain at least one of the above ingredients. So, my dilemma was how to find a way to bake something traditional without wheat, milk and eggs.

I had climbed the corporate ladder many times so I was not going to give up on this herculean task. I wound up searching the web for recipes and came up short as most recipes called for substitutes of only one of the items I needed. I was hard pressed to find a substitute that would eliminate all three ingredients. Then it hit me. Why not create a whole new recipe and hope for the best? Afterall, I had work assignments where nobody gave me instructions; why not use my creative skills in the culinary world. I was not trying to impress the great chefs of the world – merely allow a child to participate in a traditional meal with the rest of the family.

After several hours I came up with what looked like it might work. I was attempting to make potato pancakes and a sweet noodle kugel without milk, wheat and eggs. I finally came up with the concept of substituting applesauce for the eggs in the pancakes and a mixture of cornstarch and water in the kugel. Both items came out great and the extended family actually liked the new creations. I am now in the process of creating more combinations that my son might enjoy.

The moral to the story is that where there is a will, there is a way. We have the power to do anything we want to do even though we may not have the proper road map. We have the power to create a new road map each and every day. We simply must actively participate in the creation instead of waiting for someone to hand us the perfect solution.

My challenge to you this week is to be bold and supportive of yourself as you enter new and unchartered territory and perhaps find a new way to do something. Whether it is for yourself or your family, you will find tremendous satisfaction in knowing that you can do something extraordinary simply by being willing to do something new.

Until next week,

Cheryl

My story is simply one of having to acknowlegde my own limitations as an Executive, a Mom, a Wife and a Woman. Have you ever pushed yourself to your limits; either physically or emotionally? Were you even aware you were doing this or did something stop you in your tracks? Do you live your life as if everything and everyone around you is more important than yourself? Perhaps you say to yourself that your own pain and rest can wait another day or you live each week for the weekend so you can get more work done. If any of this describes even a small part of your thoughts then you are definitely not alone.

I was in the middle of my usual marathon of activities last weekend when I found myself feeling rather tired and nauseous. I told myself I would go to bed early that night. I had spent the last two weeks working 15 hour days because I was juggling tight deadlines at work along with a busy schedule at home. I am guilty of forgetting to take care of me in the midst of other more important things. On this particular day of not feeling well, I managed to drive myself home, crawl into bed and find out that I was running a fever of 102. Well, that explained it all – almost. I was actually out of commission for seven days – I knew enough not to drive while running a fever. I worked from home, fielding phone calls and emails and creating spreadsheets and letters.

My husband was wonderful at taking on the responsibility of bringing our son back and forth to daycare and letting me rest. He even told me how beautiful I was even though I was a lovely shade of pale green. It hit me on day three – even though I was so exhausted, I could not bring myself to sit still. I had to stay in motion. I could not accept myself if I sat down for even five minutes – it was incredible. I began to think about the times when my son and husband have been sick. I always force them to sit down and rest and make sure they do what they need to regain their health.

After three days of a fever, I went to the doctor and received the advice I needed along with a strong antibiotic. For the next four days I turned off the computer and the work phone and spent time with my family. It was not easy at first and then I slowly began to relax and realize that the office could survive without me for a few days – afterall they had survived before I showed up in the first place. When I returned to the office, I found that people had missed me and that they had also survived without me. Proof that I could take a vacation and the world would still be standing upon my return. My husband did a fabulous job with our son and all was right with the world when I finally was able to get out of bed and declare I felt better.

So, what’s my point? Those of us that assume Super-Executive-Mom personas need to relax a bit more. We need to remember to take care of ourselves every once in a while and not wait until we fall down. We need to accept that we are human and that we need a little help sometimes and that the world will be okay without our constant input 24 hours a day. We are allowed to sleep and we are allowed to go outside without makeup on the weekends and wear those old torn but comfortable jeans in public. Our families will still say we are beautiful no matter how green we look and we may even be able to be kinder to ourselves in the process. We need to feel the compassion toward ourselves that we give to others. We tend to set higher standards for ourselves than we do for those around us and it is time to accept ourselves as human. It is much better and easier if this process starts with us instead of being created by not taking care of ourselves.

This week take on the assignment of being Be self loving and self accepting. Your life will change through this exercise. Notice where you allow yourself to be self loving and accepting and where you stop yourself.

Until Next Week,

Cheryl

Creative Blueprints, LLC launched The Executive Mom(http://www.theexecutivemom.com) as a resource for working moms. Have you ever watched executive women and wonder how they handle the rest of their lives with their families? Now you have a place to visit to not only gain information but also share your own wisdom.

As we said when we launched Momorphosis(http://www.momorphosis.com), “it is hard to put into words what the transition to Motherhood actually feels like. We see it on other people. We make promises, plans and put ideas into action assuming we will be in complete control of what happens and in the end the only control we have is in how we react to what is happening.”

Motherhood is perhaps one of the biggest changes we go through and while we may find it easy to embrace change in all areas of our lives prior to this time, we need to build our personal support systems throughout our entire experience of being a Mother.

The Executive Mom is a place you can visit to gain insights into the lives of executive women who are also moms. The information you find will help to support you in creating a life that brings you joy, fulfillment and satisfaction as a woman and as a Mother. Whether you find yourself as a Working Mom or a Stay at Home Mom, with The Executive Mom and Momorphosis, we have the resources and support systems to help you celebrate Motherhood and navigate the journey.

We are in the middle of constructing this site and greatly appreciate your patience. Please check back often and in the meantime, you can visit us at our other sites at Momorphosis and Creative Blueprints.

Cheryl Young is the creator of The Executive Mom and the founder of Momorphosis, a company that helps women navigate each key transition within the motherhood life cycle. She also founded Creative Blueprints, LLC to help individuals define and design the life they want to live. Her work as a leader, author, speaker, and professional coach has resulted in her recognition as an expert in personal and professional success.

Cheryl works with her clients to help them to energize and balance their busy lives, deepen their personal connections and establish passion and purpose in their lives and work. She speaks to organizations throughout the United States on subjects ranging from relationships and team building to motherhood. She is the author of the upcoming book “Momorphosis – What Every New Mother Needs to Know about the Transition through Motherhood (Overcoming the Myths and Embracing the Truths of Motherhood)” and co-author of “Live Your Purpose, Love Your Work”.

Her professional experience includes senior management positions in the cable, media, entertainment, telecommunications, services and Not For Profit industries. In addition, Cheryl has held positions as a board member for the New York Chapter of Women in Cable and Telecommunications (NYWICT).

Through her coaching companies, Creative Blueprints and Momorphosis, Cheryl has provided coaching services to executives, small business owners and mothers. She has been featured in numerous publications and her articles have been broadly published throughout the internet.

Cheryl was born in the Bronx and spent most of her childhood bouncing between New York and Virginia. A lover of travel and the world, she has completed a life-long goal to step foot on all seven continents and plans to visit them all over again. She is happily married and resides with her husband and son in New Jersey.

“Traveling the globe has taught me the world is full of possibility and we have the power to create and be creative in our lives. In this process of creating a blueprint, we can dream and include everything we want for ourselves as we design a life we truly want to wake up to.”